As healers, dealing with the day-to-day can be particularly challenging. We, as humans, already navigate a lot in life. We deal with physicality, sexuality, politics, finances, emotions, and
more. This level of complexity bonds us as the human race, and it isn’t easy.
When one is a healer, it can sometimes feel that the common issues people deal with are intensified tenfold.
We are not only trying to work on our own lives but also tend to take on other people’s challenges. This gets amplified even further when you are an empath, particularly when you are born an
There are approximately nine main empath gifts one can receive, but emotional empathy is usually the one referred to most commonly.
In a nutshell, an emotional empath is one who can join in with and absorb other people’s emotions as their own. It can be difficult to figure out if what you are feeling comes from you or what
you may be accidentally taking on from others.
As a child, I was hell-bent on pleasing other people and was constantly seeking approval from everyone. I even actively joined the cult my mother was in, with personal Bible lessons on Mondays,
group Bible sessions on Wednesdays, church on Sundays, and, of course, all the proselytizing to others in our “spare” time. I hated it, but I did it because I was seeking something I wasn’t
receiving and wanted to be what my mother considered “good.”
As I grew older (and eventually ran away from home at the age of 13), I learned that to be able to stay in someone’s house for a night, a week, or a month, I needed to blend in and shift who I
was so I would be able to stay in a warm bed, even temporarily.
Again, I just wanted to fit in and make others happy, not recognizing or tending to my own needs and wants.
As a teenager and adult, I found myself constantly in relationships where I was verbally or emotionally abused, and I still felt the need to please. I have found that the need to please is a
pattern for many of us in the healing industry.
When we finally reach the point in our lives where we realize that our pleasing habits and emotional empathy can be used as a tool to help others and not to destroy ourselves, we can find our way
to the path of healing.
This doesn’t mean our self-destructive ways cease to exist.
It only means that we now have an outlet to raise ourselves up and use some of that energy for the good of our clients and the greater good. And of course, we also benefit.
The thing is, as we hone our craft and try to increase our skill set, we don’t realize that we haven’t been taught to take care of ourselves. Some of us learn the basics of protecting ourselves
from absorbing the energy coming from friends, loved ones, or clients, which is a necessary step.
However, no one teaches us what to do after years of taking on other people’s stuff. Often, this manifests as overeating, overdrinking, depression, anxiety, engaging in abusive relationships, and
even as physical ailments and disease.
So, what is the solution?